Published May 2004
Time a balancing, not juggling, act
By
Kimberly Hilden
SCBJ Assistant Editor
Time — there just doesn’t seem to be enough of it.
Each day we zip through 24 hours only to discover that we could use a half-dozen more, whether it’s to finish a work project, weed the garden or walk the dog. By the end of the week, as that to-do list grows, we’re often left feeling stressed out and overburdened.
Perhaps it isn’t a lack of time that leaves us feeling harried, but an overabundance of expectation, say professional coaches.
“Managing our expectations means managing our time,” says Donna Marie Bertrand (www.dmbertrand.com), a professional coach based in Mukilteo. “... We feel that we run out of time, yet we said ‘yes’ to something or several things that created the time crunch in the beginning.”
Instead of just adding to the to-do list, think of activities as taking up blocks of time, Bertrand advises, and understand that every time you say “yes” to something, you are saying “no” to something else.
For example, saying “yes” to obtaining a master’s degree might mean saying “no” to working overtime or regular gardening activities. And it also might mean cutting back on visits to aging parents or gaining your children’s understanding that you have less time to give — at least for a while, Bertrand says.
“Some people like to create a ‘perfect day’ schedule and then work their plan. I prefer to suggest a ‘perfect week,’” she said. To do this, she blocks out time for her list of activities, making sure to block some open time.
As a day unfolds and an interruption arises, it’s time to make some decisions: Is there a spot in the schedule for this interruption? If yes, then another activity may have to be moved into some of the open time. If no, then Bertrand says ‘no’ to the new interruption.
“It’s OK to say ‘no,’ just as long as we are OK with what we are saying ‘no’ to,” she adds.
And that means knowing where your priorities lie, says Karen Schaub (www.karenergy.com), a Bothell-based executive, corporate and life coach. She says that in handling time-management issues, it’s important to:
- Clarify priorities, values and goals — “establish what’s important.”
- Stay focused and take actions that align with what’s important.
- Set boundaries and clearly communicate what you will and will not do.
- Let go of having to do everything yourself: simplify, ask for help, create partnerships, delegate, negotiate, hire someone and eliminate unnecessary “to dos.”
“And, if after all of your best efforts, you are still in an overload situation, ask, “How is this serving me?’” Schaub says. “Often, when we keep doing the same things over and over again, there is an underlying need that is being met, which may be caused by outdated assumptions, fears or beliefs.”
In clarifying priorities for life balance, both Bertrand and Schaub use a “Life’s Circle,” or “Life Wheel,” exercise with their clients, enabling them to visualize just where their satisfaction does or doesn’t lie.
“Once a person is clear about what’s important and decides on area(s) of focus, there is a foundation for creating action plans and taking the action steps to get results,” Schaub says.
To use the “Life Wheel,” you start by identifying key areas of your life, such as relationships, family, work, finances, recreation, physical well being, emotional well being, etc.
Then you draw a circle and divide it into pie pieces, with a slice for each one of the key areas. With the center of the circle representing “zero percent satisfied” and the outer edge representing “100 percent satisfied,” you draw a line and shade in your level of satisfaction for each pie piece, Schaub says.
“By looking at how satisfied they are, the less-than-satisfied areas will start to surface and be clear,” Bertrand says.
Both she and Schaub say that in trying to create a balanced life, taking time to care for ourselves should be part of the equation.
“There is a wonderful adage that is so true: ‘Before you can take care of anyone else, you have to take care of yourself,’” Schaub says. “Taking good care of ourselves helps us to stay centered, energized and able to give and respond to the world around us in a positive, productive and generative way.”
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