Published December 2001

Beware of holiday-party pitfalls, gift-giving gaffes

The fast-approaching holiday season can be a time of happiness, renewal and social uplifting. In the workplace, the holidays also should be approached with caution and sensitivity.

With businesses and working organizations increasingly focused on developing personal relationships, a lapse in planning or taking proper precautions can heighten the chance of creating a faux pas and hurt feelings during this time of raised awareness.

The slightest indiscretion at a company celebration, however unintended, can be a career-wrecker. Merely presenting a gift may cost you a customer. And just how far can a business go on holiday decorations without being offensive to others?

Consider these suggestions on how to avoid potential holiday pitfalls so that you can look forward to having a fun, trouble-free holiday season at work.

n The Christmas party. Being held during the day, with children included and no alcohol, lowers the risk of trouble. Brief your partner and your kids, if appropriate, on the names of people you work with and the names of their partner and children if possible. If the party is at the home of an executive or co-worker, bring along a modest host gift and a sincere smile. Try to learn something interesting but nonwork related about every adult present.

Adult-only evening affairs where drinks will be served raise caution flags. Attend these parties with the same heightened awareness you would a job interview. Dress should be stylishly modest, shoes shined, nails clean. A host gift is appropriate if the party is at someone’s home. Bring a never-ending smile and sincere interest in others to help make the evening enjoyable.

This is not the place to tell jokes gleaned from the Internet or to drink as if it were a reunion of your college fraternity class. Excessive drinking is the leading cause of boorish behavior at holiday parties, including rowdiness, telling off-colored jokes or making unwanted sexual overtures or advances.

Before leaving either party, politely thank the host or the ranking executive for the opportunity to enjoy the party and, in addition, send a thoughtful, handwritten thank-you note.

n Gift giving. Given the increase of project teams and development of relationships, the urge to give gifts to co-workers or favorite customers and clients may be overwhelming. Again, proceed cautiously.

Be aware that a gift carries with it as much chance to cause confusion or embarrassment as goodwill on the part of the recipient. Unless gift giving was a pre-arranged activity, the recipient may feel an uncomfortable need to reciprocate even though time or money may be uncomfortably short. If giving to a client or vendor, make sure the person’s employer does not prohibit receiving gifts.

A gift that clearly meets the need of your recipient may be welcomed, but one that “misses the mark” could lead to embarrassment. When appropriate or expected, a useful yet generic gift such as a CD of holiday music or a holiday decoration carries a high chance of being appreciated. Instead of a gift, however, a sincerely worded, handwritten message of appreciation for the relationship within a holiday card most likely will best convey your feelings.

n Office decorations. Does putting up holiday decorations such as wreaths, trees, lights and banners at the office constitute a form of harassment to nonbelievers? Saying no to such nonreligious symbols of the holiday season would be about as popular as the directive of a Florida firm that workers remove American flags and other patriotic displays from their work cubicles following the Sept. 11 tragedies.

Obviously, winter holiday decorations have their place at work if employees and managers are comfortable with them. Just be sure that they conform to fire safety standards, are strictly nonreligious and sized appropriately.

Eric Zoeckler operates The Scribe, a business writing service. He also writes “Taming the Workplace,” a column that appears Mondays in The Herald. He can be reached at 206-284-9566 or by e-mail to mrscribe@aol.com.

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