Published December 2003

Social functions:
an opportunity
to build network

Q. The holiday season always brings with it many business-related social functions that I find difficult to enjoy and appreciate. Actually, each invitation fills me with a sense of dread. How can I shed these feelings and attend these functions with a more positive attitude?

A. Building new relationships is an important skill for anybody who wants to build their business or advance their career. A great place to start is at social functions put on by various business, special interest and industry associations.

You may consider yourself painfully shy, but realize that to be in a professionally responsible position, you have, on several important occasions, successfully overcome your reluctance to connect with people.

Think of business networking as an opportunity to make new friends. To make the most of business networking functions, here’s advice I’ve gleaned from several relationship-building experts:

• Toss away your fears. If you approach networking worrying that people will not like you, will laugh at you or reject you, it will show in your body language. Replace those fears with confidence and you’ll come across as a smiling, eye-twinkling and happy individual that anybody would be happy to meet.
• Understand your mission. Tuck away any thoughts of family or work problems. Your only purpose is to get to know other people.
• Give and you will receive. Have a game plan, including a few stories and a 20-second individual “commercial” to present to others. Open yourself to encourage others to “give back” to you.
• Perfect your “ice breaking” technique. When meeting a person unknown to you, make eye contact, smile, offer your hand and your name, and listen when they return the courtesy. Then — and this is the hard part — say something. You don’t have to be witty or even insightful. At least, sound friendly.
• Compliment the person on something they are wearing or an accomplishment you know about. Ask open-ended questions as, “I know very little about project management consulting, can you tell me more of what you do?”
• Listen, repeat and summarize. (“That is a very responsible position, can you tell me why project managers are so much in demand these days?”)
• Search for conversational “hot buttons.” Whether talking about business, career issues or even personal matters, try to identify a personal passion. Watch their eyes. If they light up, you’ll know you’ve hit a conversational “hot button.”
• Leverage your time. Since your goal is to meet as many people as you can, accomplish your information gathering in three to four minutes. Gently break contact by making eye contact with your next prospect. Politely excuse yourself by saying how much you enjoyed meeting the person and, if they are a promising business opportunity, promise to call in a few days to arrange a longer meeting.

May your next networking function be more enjoyable, productive and, most importantly, fun.

Eric Zoeckler operates The Scribe, a business writing service with many Snohomish County-based clients. He also writes a column on workplace issues in The Herald on Mondays. He can be reached at 206-284-9566 or by e-mail to mrscribe@aol.com.

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