Published March 2005

Ten behaviors that show
your respect for others

Q. I will be graduating this spring with an undergraduate business degree with honors. As I proceed with my many on-campus job interviews, I am getting the impression that companies want me to proceed directly into an operational manager’s position, supervising from a dozen to as many as 50 employees. I am not certain they see the “same me” as I see in myself. I have learned many purportedly effective “management techniques,” but I’m wondering whether there’s something more basic I can bring as an inexperienced manager?

A. Your question reveals why companies are interested in you as a manager. You possess a rare quality — the ability to reach out to others to learn and satisfy a longing curiosity. While business school may have provided you with a solid background in management skills, what you seek is a set of management values.

For this, I turn to Alene Moris, a longtime Seattle career, business and life counselor who provided a list of 10 behaviors that will tell employees and peers alike that you, from the start, enter your job with a deep and sincere respect for each of them as individuals. It truly is a ticket to success, I believe.

Here are Moris’ observations:

Treat people as individuals. From the very start, learn names, including proper spelling and pronunciation. Avoid the use of personalized nicknames such as Shorty, Slim, Pal, Guy, Dude, even though co-workers may use them frequently in casual conversation. Engage in just enough social conversation to discover a little about the life of your workers.

Speak clearly, explain patiently. Avoid use of acronyms, nicknames and shorthand phrases until you are convinced others understand. Provide examples when explaining new material or instructions.

Listen with patience, skill and empathy. Give a person your full attention. Establish and maintain eye contact in conversation. Don’t interrupt unless you don’t understand what is being said. Don’t interrupt to give your opinion. It signals you don’t care about the other person’s ideas.

Give permission to differ. Especially in an authority position, let people know you welcome their disagreement. “You might see this differently, but from my view ...” is a good phrase. “What do you think?”

Pay attention to body language. But don’t assume you can read it. If you sense something from voice tone or body language ask for clarification, such as, “You look impatient. You seem upset. Are you?”

Expect and accept mistakes. When a mistake is discovered, correct them in private. Focus on correcting just the mistake without impugning the person’s dedication, skill or talent.

Create trust by being honest. Some managers fear they’ll “hurt feelings” or discourage people, especially women and minorities, if they give feedback that is negative. That assumes people can’t or won’t improve.

Watch your language. Don’t swear, ever. Swearing or use of sexually explicit language of any kind has no place at work. Avoid other derogatory words like “stupid” or “fool.” Never scream or yell. And avoid even the most sophisticated use of sarcasm. It can and often will be misunderstood and result in loss of creativity and productivity.

Avoid gossip and put-down jokes. Like Mother used to say, “Don’t say anything about anybody that you wouldn’t say if the person were in the same room with you.” Jokes that pick on “types” of people can be destructive in the workplace.

Apologize when wrong or thoughtless. A simple “I was wrong” or “I’m sorry” works wonders. Only the insecure need to be right all the time.

Eric Zoeckler operates The Scribe, a business writing service with many Snohomish County-based clients. He also writes a workplace column appearing Mondays in The Herald. He can be reached at 206-284-9566 or by e-mail to mrscribe@aol.com.

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