Published October 2001

Be firm but fair when dealing with office ‘child’

Q. I recently was transferred to manage an office that has a reputation of being “very difficult.” I’m told that several staff members frequently “act out,” apparently unable to deal with either stress or their co-workers. Previous managers refer to these troublemakers as the office’s “children.” I am determined that this behavior end when I assume my new position, but I could use some guidance.

A. We’ve all experienced childish behavior. Remember the classroom bully who delighted at heaving erasers in your direction? But, sadly, this conduct doesn’t disappear even when the room is an office housed by seemingly mature adults.

Be assured, you are not alone. A recent study revealed that one of 10 Americans say they work in an atmosphere where physical violence has occurred because of stress, with 42 percent saying that yelling and verbal abuse are routine. While only 2 percent of those surveyed say workplace stress has caused them to strike a co-worker, 29 percent admit to yelling at co-workers.

You should be commended for drawing the line against such outbursts, because apparently, you are in a minority. A Stanford University study showed that people who frequently display anger toward their co-workers stand a better chance of getting promoted. Even worse, supervisors and managers are occasionally the worse offenders when it comes to displaying workplace rage.

Be aware that the behavior may have a psychological basis, which should be explored before any formal disciplinary action is taken. Failure to explore whether depression or other mental disorder is a factor may put you out of compliance with the Americans with Disabilities Act.

Assuming that is not the case, there are several steps you can take. I turned to Cal LeMon, President of The Executive Edge of Springfield, Mo., for his guidance.

LeMon says fear fuels childish behavior in adults. When people are afraid they aren’t competent or can’t meet their responsibilities, they often resort to immature behaviors to mask their shortcomings. Managers can control or eliminate this conduct by meeting with the employee and following these strategies:

• Be the adult. Do not allow any expression of immaturity. Be firm but fair.
• Ensure privacy. Arrange a meeting behind closed doors. Turn off pagers, telephones, cell phones or other communication devices.
• Focus on the present. Don’t dredge up past behavior without first mentioning recent behavior that you find unacceptable.
• Choose your words carefully. State the problem using “I” words, such as, “I get really angry having to cover for you when you are late to meetings.”
• Apply pressure. After stating the problem, ask whether you have stated the problem correctly. Insist that the “child” devise a corrective behavior standard that both of you can accept — then hold to it.

“Childish” behavior demands a choice — managers can either ignore it or eliminate it. By choosing to be the adult, your model and example will cause the “children” who work with you to grow up.

Eric Zoeckler operates a marketing communications firm, The Scribe, and writes “Taming the Workplace,” which appears Mondays in The Herald. Contact him at 206-284-9566 or by e-mail to mrscribe@aol.com.

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