Published September 2003

Negotiate with proper mindset, preparation

Q. I have been placed in charge of an important contract negotiation for my company. Frankly, I know very little about formal negotiations, and I’m scared to death.

A. You will feel much more comfortable with your assignment once you realize that we negotiate everyday. We may not realize it, but we negotiate frequently with our spouses, our children, our automobile mechanic, the carpet cleaner and with our boss and colleagues at work. We bargain in advancing our ideas, in sales and even with our friends.

Bob Gibson, president of Negotiation Resources, a Sausalito, Calif., sales negotiation strategist and coach, says our choice “is whether we negotiate well or poorly.”

According to Gibson, successful negotiating will be enhanced by following these five principles:

• Realize that negotiation is an ongoing process, not a single event. Build strong relationships with people before entering the actual bargaining session.
• Enter negotiations with a positive mindset. Believe your negotiating partner needs what you’re selling as much as you need the sale. Exude strength but not dominance by being aware of your body language, tone of voice and word choices.
• Be prepared. With a full understanding of the relationship, know and avoid the other party’s personal “hot buttons.”
• Determine the best and worst-case scenarios for you and your negotiating partner before the negotiation begins. Knowing each party’s highest and lowest expectations for a deal will broaden chances to find a successful solution for all.
• Get reciprocity. When you give something away, or concede an element in the negotiations, always ask for something in return. Otherwise, the other party will seek more concessions.

Jean Gatz, a business consultant and public speaker, adds these important negotiating principles:

• Identify what you need or want, and what you are willing to give up to get it. We often mistakenly believe everything is important when some lesser points are actually “sideline issues.”  These can become your bargaining chips if you are willing to yield on some points while holding firm on others.
• Then, identify what your negotiating partner needs or wants. We can get so wrapped up in our own needs that we forget there is another person involved. If we focus only on what WE need, want, require, desire or expect, we can easily lose sight of what is important to the other person. 
• Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated. Some negotiators try to manipulate the process by resorting to emotional outbursts, using personal flattery, false praise, coyness, charm and other childlike tactics. Negotiating as an adult is strictly business, a give-and-take process that should not include elements far removed from the issues at hand.
• Remember this very important rule: Some things are non-negotiable. You must decide if that rule applies to your situation. If your issue is negotiable, your success will be highly dependent on “doing your homework” before entering the negotiation process.

Eric Zoeckler operates The Scribe, a business writing service with many Snohomish County-based clients. He also writes a column on workplace issues in The Herald on Mondays. He can be reached at 206-284-9566 or by e-mail to mrscribe@aol.com.

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